Someone's friend...

So... my best friend from junior high is on death row. Her execution date has just been set actually. How many people can say that? Don't get me wrong... I'm not bragging about it. But really. What do you say to that?
If you would have asked me when I was 13 which of my friends would have killed someone, she'd be pretty far toward the bottom of my list. You couldn't have known a more polite and kind person. She was nice, funny, talented. You just wouldn't have guessed what would happen to her later in life.
I'm not going to pretend that I'm Best Friend of the Year or anything. She graduated four years before me and as soon as she got out of high school, we lost touch. I saw her randomly in Walmart about a year or two after she graduated. The next time I saw her was on the front page of The Express in 2003 after she was arrested for murder. I haven't talked to her, I haven't written to her, I haven't visited her.
There's always been something holding me back from contacting her. I always talked about it, but I never did it. I didn't know if she'd want to hear from me or not. It's not like we stayed in touch after she graduated, so I didn't know what she thought of me. My next excuse is that I didn't know how to get ahold of her. Well she was in the CCCF for a few years... like 5 miles from my house. I could have figured that out. Then she went to Muncy... still could have figured it out. Above all, I just had no idea what to say to her. Hey, how are you? Well Carolyn, I'm on death row, how are you? Yeah... no idea what to say.
I finally found her address and wrote her a letter though. There are so many people who have given me a hard time for this. Wondering how I could still think about her, how I could still care about her. Well when I think about her, I don't think about her doing drugs, joining a gang, or killing someone. I think about her sleeping over at my house, sharing a bus seat with her on the way to band competitions, and watching her in the high school's production of Bye Bye Birdie.
I like those thoughts better.
I know what she did was wrong. I'm not excusing her. If it was anyone else, I'd probably be in favor of the death penalty too. But really... do you know her? Do you know what her childhood was like? Do you know what her life was like? Do you know why she made the decisions that she did? No? Me either. We don't know any of the circumstances of anyone's life in these situations. But we don't have to know. And we don't have to judge. It's not our job.
I realize that her neighbor's life was cut short in a terrible, unspeakable way. I realize that he had a family whose lives will never be the same. But her life is also being cut short and she also has a family whose lives will never be the same.
No matter what anyone says, no matter what anyone thinks... she is still someone's daughter, someone's mother, someone's sister and someone's friend.

Jon and Kate? Kill me please...

If you're hardcore pro-life or don't have a sense of humor, I don't recommend reading any more of this... don't say I didn't warn you.

So most of you know that I'm pretty vocal about not ever wanting children in the future. Those of you who don't know me, let me give you the run down. I do not enjoy children. I work with kids everyday and adore my job, but I also get to give them back at the end of the day. I'm a decent role model, but I'd be a terrible parent. I'm way to selfish and irresponsible to have a child.

A lot of you don't believe me and say that I'll end up having six or something.
Seriously... just kill me.

Every now and then I will see my friends and their babies and think that I may want one someday. But then I catch a random episode of "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" and it brings me back to my senses and reminds me of how much I hate little children. I'm sure that show isn't intended to make people want to put the phone number of the nearest abortion clinic on their speed dial, but it works for me.

And if that wasn't enough, I caught "True Life: I'm Pregnant" on MTV the other day. That's just gross. I don't know how you women can physically deliver a child and then still want more children in the future. I applaud you.

I joke around a lot about throwing myself down a flight of steps or having a coat hanger ready and waiting in the unfortunate event that I would ever become pregnant. Some of my friends get a good laugh out of it and offer to help, but most people in general are probably pretty offended by this. Especially the ones that already have children of their own. So I've decided that since you don't agree with abortion being an option for me, then you get the pleasure of keeping all of my unwanted children.

Since Jon and Kate are so psychotic and inspired this blog, I will use their family as an example. Why you would have a set of twins and still want to have more children is such a foreign concept to me. On top of that, you figure out that you're having sextuplets your second time around. In my book, that's six really good Christmas presents to pass on to your closest friends.

So I've decided that since I don't want children, eight little bundles of accidental joy are probably in my future as punishment for some horrendous thing I've done in a past life. Or in this life, if we're being honest here. So I'm devising a list of potential parents to take over for me, since I don't want to offend anyone by giving myself a homemade abortion in the bathroom of a bar.

I have a few friends picked out already. Only about three. They've already told me that they would provide a good home for my kids. I don't even care about that... just get them out of my hair.

Beyond that, I'm having problems thinking of willing participants. So I have five prospective children on the way and no parents to take care of them. If you'd like to volunteer to raise my children, please let me know. Please don't make me put them on the side of the road in a cardboard box with "free" written on it like a litter of stray kittens.